I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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