I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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