You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
