HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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