i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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