11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
