Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
