the day after is always just damage control
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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