thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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