he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
