Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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