You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
