where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
