His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
