Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
where are my eyebrows?
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