I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
