its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
