I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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