day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
