Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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