He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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