i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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