Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
