Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
im holly from the hills drunk
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
