i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
