Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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