So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dignity is for republicans.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
