The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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