the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
