i was rollin on her like bob the builder
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
