is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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