Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
