do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
