so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
