Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
