she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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