She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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