Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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