Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
