found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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