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I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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