also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
