Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize