I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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