Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
