Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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