but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
