Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
