i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
