I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
