Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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