ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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