Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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