You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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