We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
