Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
