question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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