FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
