the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
