We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
