Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
soo... how was my night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
